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Bad Romance Novels

“Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Bride, Occasionally a Werewolf”

“Fifty Shades of Let’s Just Be Friends”

“He Told Me Secrets, He Told Me Lies, He Told Me He Had Health Insurance”

“In Space, No One Can Hear You Scream ‘I Love You’ ”

“The Duke and I and the Duke’s Weird Horse, Sunday Johnson”

“Friends with Unemployment Benefits”

“Not Quite a Gentleman, but Definitely a Deadbeat Dad”

“Always and Forever, or Until Our Netflix Queue Runs Out”

“Lucky in Love, Unlucky in Winning the Peloponnesian War”

“Wined and Dined and Framed for Arson”

“Healed by Love, Fortunately, Because She’s a Christian Scientist”

“Sex Dentist”

“This Feels Like Love—Wait, Sorry, False Alarm, This Is Not Love”

“Cowboy at Dawn, Devil at Dusk, Unemployed Musician at All Other Times”

“Lusting for Libertarians: Volume 1 of the ‘Lusting for Libertarians’ Series”

“He Left Me Breathless and We Never Did CrossFit Again”

“Love Works in Mysterious Ways, but Then So Does the Higgs Boson”

“Once a Thief, Twice a Thief, Three Times a Thief, Four Times I Don’t Know if I Can Be with a Man Who Steals This Much”

“The Time Traveler’s Wife’s Accountant, Murphy”

“My Secret Boyfriend, Søren Kierkegaard”

“You Make Me Feel So Young, Too Young, Like a Baby”

“Yes, and . . . I Love You (My Improv Fiancée)”

“Listen to My Heart, Then Audit the Fed: Lusting for Libertarians, Volume 2”

“Do You Think He Loves Me? The U.N. Committee Unanimously Votes No”

“Their First Kiss for the Last Time but Her Second Chance for a Third Marriage”

“The Sexiest Man Who Used to Be Alive: Betrothed to a Zombie”

“His Eyes Said, ‘I Love You,’ but His Mouth Said, ‘Hi, I’m Al Roker, Here’s Your Daily Weather Forecast, America’ ”

“The Amtrak Seduction”

“P.S. I Love You. P.P.S. I Don’t Believe in Evolution, I Hope That Isn’t a Deal Breaker”

“Can’t Help Falling in Love with You (Because Free Will Is but an Illusion and We Are but Slaves to the Cruel Whims of Operant Conditioning),” by B. F. Skinner

“Horse-Man: Half Horse, Half Man, All Hunk”

“Wrapped in Her Arms, Tangled in Her Sheets, Lost in the Abandoned Corn Maze That Grows Outside Her Cabin”

“Pride and Prejudice and Legal Heroin: Lusting for Libertarians, Volume 3”

“Ravished by Giamatti,” by Paul Giamatti

“I Married a Sex God, but He Has No Body and I Don’t Know How We Will Make Love!”

“The Things He Whispers in My Ear Sound Like Anti-Vaccination Conspiracies”

“I Lost My Heart and My Luggage at Newark Liberty International”

“A Copy of the Mueller Report but All the Redacted Sections Are Replaced with Quotes from ‘The Notebook,’ Because That’s Where Democracy Is Right Now, Apparently”

“Love in the Time of Cholera but, Like, with Wa-a-ay More Cholera This Time”

“Five Nights of Untamed Passion with the Hunky Farm Boy Who Owns the World’s Largest Collection of ‘Ant-Man’ Paraphernalia”

“Now That’s What I Call Kissing!,” by the creators of “Now That’s What I Call Music!”

“Quick to Love, Early to Adopt the Blockchain to Replace Fiat Currencies: Lusting for Libertarians, Volume 4”

“Love Is Patient, Love Is Blind, Love Is Right Around the Corner, Love Is Coming for You, Love Is in the Bushes, Run, Run, for the Love of God, Run”

Click Here to Visit Orignal Source of Article https://www.newyorker.com/humor/daily-shouts/bad-romance-novels

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