9.3 C
New York
March 28, 2024
Worship Media
Humorous

National Archives Report Someone Tried to Scrawl “Total Authority” with Sharpie on U.S. Constitution

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—An unknown person attempted to scrawl the words “TOTAL AUTHORITY” on the United States Constitution with a Sharpie, the National Archives reported on Tuesday.

A security guard spotted the attempted vandalism on Tuesday morning, when he noticed “something weird” on the glass case protecting the priceless historical document.

“Someone had written the words in big block letters,” the security guard said. “Plus, both ‘total’ and ‘authority’ were misspelled.”

“It looked like the work of a small child, but there are no school groups here because of the coronavirus and whatnot,” he added. “So it’s a real mystery.”

Harland Dorrinson, a spokesperson for the National Archives, said that, even though the Constitution was unharmed, the Archives are launching a “full investigation” to determine what “sick person” attempted to deface the document.

“Somewhere in Washington, there’s a person on the loose who hates the way the Constitution is actually written,” he said.

Click Here to Visit Orignal Source of Article https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/national-archives-report-someone-tried-to-scrawl-total-authority-with-sharpie-on-us-constitution

Related posts

Some Other Trees in the Garden of Eden

The New Yorker

Advantages to Postponing Your Wedding During a Pandemic

The New Yorker

After Vacationing for a Week in Portland, I Really Feel That I Cannot Live Anywhere

The New Yorker

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Accept Read More

Privacy & Cookies Policy