Hi, I’m Ellie Kemper.
And I’m Dan Radcliffe.
And we are at home.
And today we are going to attempt to
caption some cartoons in The New Yorker
Cartoon Caption Contest.
Good luck us. Good luck.
To us and our homes.
So first up we have this guy.
She seems to be leaving because she’s angry
about the goats, right?
She doesn’t seem happy about the goats.
Are we jumping to conclusions?
She might just be unhappy in general.
He has a sort of worried regretful look on his face.
All right, I think I’m gonna write something down.
You write something down, I’ll keep marinating over here.
I mean the goats are eating the lamp shades, the couch.
Dan you take it away and then if I think
I can improve upon it I will, but I doubt that I will.
So I said, You said, if I had to choose…
It’s my mic drop moment.
I’m dropping the mic.
It’s a hairbrush, I don’t have a microphone at home.
We have a classic, I feel like
this is pretty classic New Yorker.
Bar, bar scene, he’s in a straitjacket, right?
That’s a straitjacket, right?
Is he not escaping from prison?
I think he is escaping.
I think we have some Shawshank here.
And I think he built a tunnel from jail,
he ended up in this bar.
The bar is the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
I don’t know, do we work that into our caption, Dan?
I’m really struggling with this one.
What about, he’s a prisoner, he’s looking,
he’s probably looking for work.
An inmate walks into a bar?
This feels like the start of a joke.
I could use a drink?
I’ve earned this.
I’ve earned this.
I’ll write it down.
That was a real team effort–
Do you know what I’m gonna do?
Sometimes it’s all about the punctuation.
And he’s excited, he just escaped from prison
and he’s in a bar.
Okay, next one?
This is a rat in an armchair reading the news,
while the couple discusses what to do next.
I have one for this one, but it makes no sense.
So I’m gonna write it down.
They seemed very concerned at the door,
this is an old family dispute, he’s around,
the brother is still playing it cool.
Oh I love that, and I feel like it has that quirk
that we so love in The New Yorker.
Let’s see what you’ve come up with.
He’s your brother, just talk to him.
I don’t know why…
I love that!
Next we have. Okay, next one.
Okay, this is a grim scene.
A man and a woman sitting on some cinder blocks
at what appears to be the end of the world.
But you know, at the end of the day,
they still seem to be having some sort of domestic squabble.
He’s the one talking.
I mean, there’s just rubble behind them.
And yet, he is still seems to be bothering her in some way.
I’m writing it.
It’s not my fault.
I feel like whatever it is it’s still petty, isn’t it.
You can tell. Oh yeah.
So I think something like that’s great.
Listen, the woman should not be the one
doing the ironing, but she was in this case.
It’s not my fault you left the iron on.
It’s already… [laughs]
It’s already exclamatory enough.
This one’s fun.
This is risque, yes.
So we have a kick line and one lawyer
seems very happy and smug,
and the other lawyer seems very unhappy,
and the judge also seems to be having a pretty good time.
Judge is happy, one attorney’s happy, one is mad.
He’s bad at his job.
This judge is not a good judge.
He’s not a good judge.
And I don’t know a lot about the law.
But we know enough to spot a bad judge when we see him.
Should we both write one down and then…
Have our way with it. Yeah.
Have our way with it is not the right thing to say here.
Okay so it’s a kick line, okay the judge is happy.
And the judge is the one talking.
See, I always have to remember who’s the one talking here.
Okay, I’m doing another exclamation point on this one.
I did as well.
[Ellie] Oh you did, okay.
I just said the same thing, yes.
Let’s see what yours is first.
Well, your argument has no legal merit,
but I have to say I am persuaded!
Mine are along the same lines.
I asked for exhibit A, not my dream witness!
Now isn’t this a sweet vignette.
[Dan] This is really sweet, and it’s the only one
that I’ve had an immediate thought for,
and it’s not nearly as sweet as the thing.
Now the trees are talking to each other here, right?
This is the tree having–
Oh see, this is what I missed already
because I was about to have the humans talking.
But you’re right, it’s the tree on our left who’s talking.
It does seem like some sort of
pharmaceutical commercial, right?
Like it’s something… It does.
Is there something we could do with that?
Like, some gastrointestinal distress.
Is that too base.
The leaves are falling, so it’s autumn.
The tree is talking, oh it’s too bad
we’re about to lose…
Oh it’s too bad winter is coming.
That’s too Games of Throne-ey.
Now you’re writing something down,
do you have a thought?
I feel like this is also…
They better be quarantining together.
I like that one.
These are two family members whose lives
have gone very different ways.
He’s wearing a suit, he’s changed.
The caged lion followed his true path.
I like the selling out.
Some people call me a sellout, I call me…
Not in a cage.
Um… I like that one!
All right, yeah.
We did it! We did it!
You’re welcome New Yorker.
Apologies to all the cartoonists.
Well Dan, I thought we did a pretty good job.
I though we did okay, yeah.
It was fun.
I’m glad I got to do it with you and not on my own.
Same here, great minds think alike.
Or at least, two times the number of minds
come up with more captions.
Thank you New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest for having us.