8.5 C
New York
March 28, 2024
Worship Media
Humorous

Ask Kim Kierkegaardashian: Worldly Goods vs. the Greater Good

Ask Kim Kierkegaardashian is an advice column by a mashup of the nineteenth-century existentialist philosopher Søren Kierkegaard and the reality star and fashion maven Kim Kardashian West. Are you suffering an existential crisis? Vexed about what to wear? Send your questions to kimkierkegaard1@gmail.com (or address them to @kimkierkegaard on Twitter). Questions may be edited for clarity and length.

Dear Kim Kierkegaardashian,

How do I balance being an anti-capitalist Marxist at heart with also loving stuff? All of my friends are pot-smoking leftists who talk about how we should eat the rich, and I agree with them. How is it ethical that we live in a world that allows some to hoard wealth, while others lack basic human dignities? But my parents are immigrants who came to the United States for greater career opportunities—they just want me to live a comfortable life style, and I get that, too.

In fact, I really want one of those walk-in closets filled to the brim with designer handbags. I follow a ton of fashion influencers on social media, and I luxuriate in my Tatcha face masks and Chanel cosmetics (while lounging in my decrepit, disgusting apartment that I share with too many roommates, sure).

I was incredibly proud of myself for scoring an internship at a major fashion brand last year, and although some friends congratulated me, others told me that I’d sold out to an industry that exploits insecurities for profit. This, to me, represents the heart of my predicament—whose words should I honor? Should I prioritize my own financial comfort and career aspirations, or the greater global good?

Signed,

Closet Consumerist

Dear Closet Consumerist,

Like you, I also disdain the allure of worldly things, except when those worldly things are destined for my own closet. In fact, my walk-in closet is so big that it has a hot tub for trying out bathing suits and dedicated sections for clothes purchased for my many moods and activities, such as despair, raging against the foolishness of men, weeping over my sins, clubbing, and resort wear.

Anyway, kudos to you, Closet Consumerist, for recognizing the gap between your ideals and your desires. You’re not alone—the only people whose lives never deviate from their principles are those who don’t have any. As for the rest, many live out their days in a haze of unexamined hypocrisy, while wearing shoes that don’t go at all with unexamined hypocrisy.

You, however, perceive the world in all its contradictions—its seductions, its joys, its injustices. You recognize the conflict in your soul and examine your hypocrisy. It’s as though you’ve realized that you’re wearing the wrong hair style for your face shape. Now you can begin to understand yourself. Now you can make changes.

It sounds to me like you have granted a great deal of power to other people’s opinions—those of your charming hippie friends and of your admirable parents. But, although it’s fine to borrow little snatches of other people’s looks, you can’t go through life copying someone else’s style. You have to find your own flair.

So pay close attention to your heart’s contradictions. Is the urge to fill a closet with the supple calfskin of countless Birkin bags a joyful appreciation of French craftsmanship, or an attempt to fill a terrible void? Is your Tatcha face mask life-affirming self-care, or a desperate disguise against mortality? What would it feel like to face life without the comforting cocoon of stuff?

And when you enter the walk-in closet of your soul, are your politics just a youthful fad, as dispensable as drunk-ordered harem pants? Or are they a treasured wardrobe centerpiece—enduring and deeply felt—like a vintage Valentino gown or a well-worn pair of jeans?

It takes time, experience, and unflinching introspection to answer questions such as these. Like the flavor of Royal Ossetra caviar served with Santa Barbara sea urchin, Hawaiian hearts of peach palm, and Persian cucumbers (which my private chef Thomas Keller just served me for lunch—thank you, Thomas), the things of life cannot be known in the abstract. They must be tasted to be understood.

So make your choices, Closet Consumerist. Do your internships. Feel proud of them or regret them, as you will. But prioritize your own thoughts and feelings on these things, over those of your peers and your parents. A moisturizer that works great on a friend’s face might make yours break out. Figure out what makes your skin type glow.

I myself am quite clear that my own lust for stuff is an aspect of my despair, but this may or may not be true for you. There could be ways to reconcile your two clashing looks, personal comfort and anti-capitalism. You could dedicate yourself to ethical fashion, for example, or to volunteering and activism outside of your day job. Justice is a glorious diva, and if you truly believe in her, you must find ways to let her sing.

But I am an existentialist influencer, not a political philosopher, so I view the problem of wealth through the lenses of the self, and of the selfie. And what you are searching for here is nothing less than your authentic self, your soul—that which gives life to even the most poorly lit of bathroom selfies. The self is the one must-have piece that can be neither purchased by a personal shopper nor borrowed from a roommate’s wardrobe and that, once achieved, becomes the most fabulous item you possess. What you want to avoid, Closet Consumerist, is eventually stepping into your walk-in and realizing that your life has become like one of your Birkin bags: impressive-looking, acquired with great effort—and empty.

XOXO

Kim Kierkegaardashian

Click Here to Visit Orignal Source of Article https://www.newyorker.com/humor/daily-shouts/ask-kim-kierkegaardashian-worldly-goods-vs-the-greater-good

Related posts

How to Have a Conversation Again

The New Yorker

Dear Pepper: For Richer or Poorer

The New Yorker

Other Ways to Spend the N.Y.P.D.’s $5.6 Billion Annual Budget

The New Yorker

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Accept Read More

Privacy & Cookies Policy