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Trump Calls Biden’s Pro-Empathy Message Offensive to Sociopaths

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Calling it “hurtful and insulting,” Donald J. Trump on Friday said that Joe Biden’s pro-empathy speech at the Democratic National Convention was “deeply offensive” to the nation’s sociopaths.

Blasting Biden’s incendiary pro-compassion rhetoric, Trump said that the “roomful of sociopaths” with whom he watched the speech found it “alienating and divisive.”

“I was watching with Jared, Stephen Miller, and Mitch McConnell, and when Biden started in on the empathy stuff, we all felt very alone,” he said. “He said that he wants to be a President for all Americans, but I guess that doesn’t include sociopaths.”

Calling Biden “a puppet of compassionate extremists,” he demanded that the former Vice-President apologize to every sociopath in the country.

“Sociopaths have feelings, just not for other people,” he said.

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