A few other Scandinavian trends to make your sad pandemic life seem intentional:
HUNDAFVISE
Sitting on the floor to pet your dog, but then your dog walking away, and you just staying on the floor alone.
MORSKJULE
Rejecting an unexpected FaceTime from your mom because even your mom shouldn’t see how you look right now.
DRIKKEDRUKNE
Slowly filling your bedside table with empty mugs and wineglasses and one full, old, ChapStick-rimmed glass of stale water with dog hair floating in it.
SMURTSVIN
Putting on so much hand lotion that you can’t use your phone or computer.
OSTSKAM
Eating cheese with the refrigerator door open so it counts as a light snack and not a three-thousand-calorie cry for help.
UENDELIG SMERTE
Making a cup of tea that’s a thousand degrees too hot and forgetting to drink it until it’s cold.
BESKIDT HUS
Vacuuming, but not vacuuming your baseboards or under any furniture, then wondering why your house is still dirty even though you just vacuumed.
NULLBUTIKK
Putting things that would make your house nicer in online shopping carts and then never buying them.
HELSEHELVETE
Reading about Scandinavian countries’ universal health care while on hold with Aetna as you try to dispute a bill from Quest Diagnostics.
FRILUFTSLIV NEI
Saying that you’re going to go for a walk in the crisp, wintry fresh air and then it suddenly being nighttime without you even having put on pants.
HJæLP
Google-translating words from English to Danish in an attempt to pass off the true and pathetic details of your depressing existence as amusing, relatable content. ♦
