6.8 C
New York
March 29, 2024
Worship Media
Humorous

The Twelve Days of Supply-Chain Christmas Problems

Many items destined for retailer shelves this holiday season are
hopelessly snarled in the global supply chain. —Los Angeles Times

Day One

It’s the first day of Christmas, and my true love sends me a partridge in a pear tree. But the tree and partridge arrive separately, weeks apart, and require assembly. I am missing many pieces. Visitors ask, “Is that supposed to be a tree?” I look away, ashamed.

Day Two

The second day of Christmas is no better. My true love sends me two turtledoves, but I receive an e-mail alerting me that the turtledoves are held up indefinitely on a boat off the coast of California.

Day Three

My true love sends me three French hens, which, upon arrival, turn out to be three pigeons. I am informed that France is no longer able to export hens. The pigeons are nonreturnable.

Day Four

On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love sends me a gift card for calling birds. Apparently, they have been sold out for months. I cannot exchange the gift card for cash.

Day Five

The fifth day of Christmas is stressful. I am supposed to sign for five gold rings that my true love has sent me, but my building’s buzzer does not work, so I have to go pick up the package at the post office. I have grown a mustache during quarantine, and the postal worker does not believe I am the same person as on my I.D. The five gold rings are sent back to my true love, who is now questioning if we are meant to be together.

Day Six

Six geese a-laying arrive on my doorstep, all a-laid out. But it seems that, on their lengthy trip across the country, the geese laid baby geese, who grew into adult geese, and those geese laid geese, and now there are two hundred and sixteen geese in my apartment. I start to think that I may not get my security deposit back.

Day Seven

On the seventh day of Christmas, a disgruntled FedEx driver tells me that the seven swans did not coöperate. He hands me a couple gallons of swanless swimming water.

Day Eight

On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love sends me eight maids a-milking. I do not want or need even just one maid, which turns out to be fine, because all eight maids immediately begin picketing to demand better pay and benefits for their a-milking.

Days Nine and Ten

The nine ladies dancing and ten lords a-leaping are also on strike. I support them, and express my solidarity on Instagram. Then I order myself strike-breaking dancers and leapers on Amazon. I realize that I am part of the problem.

Day Eleven

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love sends me eleven pipers. They are supposed to be piping, but there is a major shortage of the key material used to make pipes. The pipers stand at my doorstep, milling about. I now have eleven pipers milling.

Day Twelve

On the twelfth and final day of Christmas, my true love sends me twelve drummers drumming. Surprisingly, they arrive on time and prepared to drum—a Christmas miracle! They keep me up all night.

Click Here to Visit Orignal Source of Article https://www.newyorker.com/humor/daily-shouts/the-twelve-days-of-supply-chain-christmas-problems

Related posts

Daily Cartoon: Thursday, December 14th

The New Yorker

Scenes from My Open-ish Marriage

The New Yorker

“1984” (Keeping in Mind that I’ve Never Read It)

The New Yorker

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Accept Read More

Privacy & Cookies Policy