9 C
New York
March 28, 2024
Worship Media
Humorous

I See That You Are Giving Away a TV on Facebook Marketplace and I Just Have a Few Questions

Hello! I saw your post, “Free BROKEN Sony TV,” on Facebook Marketplace. Is it still available? I just have a few basic questions before I go out of my way to drive ten minutes to take a piece of electronics off your porch at no cost to me.

When should I come get the TV? I am available at 1:30 A.M. Is that an O.K. time for you? If not, I could also come get the TV sometime tomorrow, but I’m not sure when.

What size is the TV? Your post says twenty-seven inches, but is that an exact measurement? Would you mind measuring again and sending me a photo of the tape measure against the TV? I want it to sit exactly flush with my twenty-seven-inch TV stand while also being small enough to fit in my bathroom should I decide to move it there when I take a bath. How big is my bathroom? I’m not sure. What do you expect me to do? Measure my bathroom just to see if a free TV would fit in there?

I will not be coming to get the TV tomorrow, but could you please take the post down? I will get the TV soon—I just can’t possibly plan when I will be able to get the TV so I’d like you to go ahead and make it available for the next time I:

a) Am not working.
b) Am not watching a conflicting sporting event.
c) Feel like it.

This could be at any time in the next one to twelve weeks.

Does the TV come in any other colors? I see from your post that the TV is white with a black screen. Could the TV be black with a white screen? Do you have another TV that is black? What size is that TV?

Where did you purchase the TV? Did you buy it pre-owned or new? How much did the TV originally cost? I want to know how much money I’m saving by getting it for free. If the TV cost you less than two hundred dollars, you have to admit, it’s really not much of a bargain for me. Plus, I have to drive to pick it up, using gas. Perhaps you could compensate me for the cost of removal? Ten dollars seems fair to me.

What brand is the TV? The post says Sony, but is that Sony the TV brand or a typo for “Sonic the Hedgehog”? If it’s a Sonic the Hedgehog-brand TV, I’m not sure that I want it, but I will let you know sometime on Sunday—next Sunday, not this Sunday. This Sunday, I’ll be at my cousin’s condo in Stowe and will not have cell service, so I won’t be able to contact you about the TV. But, by responding to this post, I have claimed this TV, and it is rightfully mine, and you must keep it safe for me until I say that I don’t want it.

Why am I getting a free TV off Facebook and not purchasing a TV that fits my specific requirements? Well, this TV is free, and I can tell that you’re the kind of person who is going to keep answering my questions despite the absence of any guarantee that I’ll even take this TV, because you’ve spent your entire life being agreeable and trying to make everyone like you, even strangers with the Ferrari logo as their Facebook profile picture—which brings me to my next question.

Will this fit in my car? I understand that you’ve never seen my car, but surely at some point you put this TV in your car. Did it fit? Do you think your car is a similar size to my car? My car is a Toyota Corolla. What kind of car do you have?

Your car is probably bigger than mine. Can you deliver the TV to my house? Actually, I’m not sure I want to take it yet, so what I’d like you to do is come to my house with the TV and carry it into my living room. At that point, we can assess if the TV fits on my TV stand and if you are able to connect it to my Amazon Fire TV Stick properly.

Unless the TV has Roku built in? Does the TV have Roku built in? Your post said that the TV is “broken and a hundred per cent does not work,” but I’m still going to act as if the TV is functional, leaving you to wonder if I even read your post and whether I will be angry upon realizing that the TV is indeed broken.

I am not able to get the TV today because my mother/daughter/gerbil is sick. Could I get the TV next Wednesday?

One important thing: Has the TV ever played an episode of “Doogie Howser, M.D.”? I am philosophically against a child working as a medical professional and find this show offensive. If the TV has been used for this purpose, I will have to reconsider taking this TV. I’m not saying that I won’t take it if you have ever watched “Doogie Howser, M.D.” on it—it just depends on how many episodes. For instance, if you watched one “Doogie Howser, M.D.” just to kind of get a sense of what Neil Patrick Harris was like as a child actor out of pure curiosity because you are a fan of his later work, that would be O.K. If you binge-watched several seasons of “Doogie Howser, M.D.” all on one Saturday, I cannot take the TV. Once you send me a log of which “Doogie Howser, M.D.” episodes you’ve watched on this TV (from an ethical standpoint, some “Doogie Howser, M.D.” episodes are more acceptable than others because Doogie spends less time in the hospital and more time doing normal kid activities), I will take a few days and consider if I still want the TV.

Actually, just to be safe, please send a log of all programs you watched on this TV.

What time will you be arriving with the TV? I texted you thirteen minutes ago saying that I wanted the TV, and you still have not arrived at my house. To be quite honest, I find that very rude, and now I’m not sure that I want to take the TV after all.

This TV is broken! I am angry!

Click Here to Visit Orignal Source of Article https://www.newyorker.com/humor/daily-shouts/i-see-that-you-are-giving-away-a-tv-on-facebook-marketplace-and-i-just-have-a-few-questions

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