July 22, 2026
Worship Media
Humorous

Finishing School: To Shred or Not to Shred

The paper shredder entered public consciousness in the United States in the nineteen-seventies, during the Watergate hearings, and began to be widely used after 1988, when the Supreme Court ruled that trash left on the street—bank statements, Social Security numbers, medical records, et cetera—was public property. The most famous shredder of all time is Eddie Van Halen. Whoops, wrong kind of shredding.

A shredding event should be festive, like a carnival, with balloons and cotton candy and a bluegrass band. The East Palestine shredding featured a truck from Protect-N-Shred, out of Cortland, Ohio, bearing the words “Complete Document Destruction” along with an image of a bulldog wearing a spiked collar. Besides the driver, an amiable man who was happy to explain how the shredder worked, only a few nervous schoolchildren stood around, supervised by a woman with a badge that identified her as an envoy of the library. People drove up and opened trunks to reveal boxes and shopping bags full of ancient yellowed papers. The kids helped unload everything into plastic bins, sometimes rejecting a spiral-bound notebook. I leaned in to see what they were getting rid of: old utility bills, high-school Latin homework, a caretaker’s record of a patient’s pill-taking regimen. But before I could see more the librarian approached and said, “I have to ask you not to look.”

I backed off, but I am nothing if not a dogged reporter, and after a while I edged back in to chat with the shredmeister and cast a sidelong glance into the bins before they were hoisted and tilted into the hopper. The librarian approached once more and said sternly, “I have to ask you again to step back.” I didn’t get it. I was innocent of any desire to expose people or steal their financial details. I thought they were shredding certain documents because they wanted to be free of them, the way I wanted to be free of rough drafts, juvenilia, and food diaries.

My guide in East Palestine was Kenny, a friend of JK’s and the proprietor of Styles by Kenneth, a hair salon. I got to see the high school that Eleanor attended (this is where the plaque should go): a monumental W.P.A. project, with the words “AUDITORIUM” and “GYMNASIUM” carved in blond stone. Like the shredding company, the high school had a bulldog for its mascot (“Go, Dogs!”). I learned about Captain Taggart, the founder of East Palestine, formerly known as Mechanicsburg. Its origin story is that Mrs. Taggart was riding alongside the Captain in a horse-drawn carriage, and the landscape reminded her of her travels in Palestine. The designation East Palestine may have come from its location in far east Ohio, near the Pennsylvania border, in Appalachia.

One famous resident was W. S. George, who owned a big pottery business. There used to be scads of potteries in the area, which enjoyed an abundance of clay, but all the potteries had closed, run out of business by cheap imports. The former W. S. George Pottery was now a mammoth recycling plant, which seemed like a metaphor for the way of all printed matter.

Back in Columbiana, I saw the trilliums, and JK offered earplugs for the trains that blew through all night. I like the sound of trains, so I didn’t mind. She was concerned that the trains were freighted with hazardous materials, and her fears were well founded. Two years later, a train derailed, and the air, water, and clay of East Palestine were poisoned. Even the recycling plant has since closed. The town will be dealing with the damage for generations.

I have not returned to East Palestine, but I have attended other shreddings, including one in Chelsea, sponsored by a councilman, where I followed a woman to ask, in the most nonthreatening way possible, what she had shredded. She was not at all paranoid. “Things that came in the mail,” she said. “Applications for preapproved credit cards.” After shredding, she said, “I feel clean.” ♦

An earlier version of this article misstated whom the 1934 yearbook belonged to.

Click Here to Visit Orignal Source of Article https://www.newyorker.com/humor/shouts-murmurs/finishing-school-to-shred-or-not-to-shred

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