So Sorry—I Was Just Reminded of My Own Mortality
Hi, Shirley. Could you check and see if Dr. Solomon can move my dental cleaning to next week? I came across two baby squirrels as...
Tag : Humor / Shouts&Murmurs
What I Know About You Based on How Many of Your Friends Are Becoming Therapists
It’s weird out there—you’re aging, the world is changing, and the economic landscape is shifting beneath your feet. The things you once cared about suddenly...
Social-Media Advertisements vs. Reality: Postpartum-Clothes Edition
© 2026 Condé Nast. All rights reserved. The New Yorker may earn a portion of sales from products that are purchased through our site as...
How to Be Deep in a Marketable Way
You have a complex mind and an achingly beautiful soul—but that’ll all be wasted if you’re not getting paid. I’ve learned to make four-plus figures...
Dear Pepper: Are You There Husband? It’s Me, Wife
I’m going to say something validating or painful—I’m not sure which one. Your life sounds unpleasant, and I️ (again, a random fictional dog) think it...
Operation Name That Excursion!
“They gave me a list of names to choose. ‘Sir, you could pick the name you’d like, sir.’ I said, ‘The name of what?’ ‘The...
The Text of E-Mails from My Accountant vs. the Subtext
TEXT: Hi, your dad’s friend Bill here. He mentioned that you’re freelancing now, and that you may need some help with your taxes. SUBTEXT: Hi,...
Poems Dictated to My Phone, Mostly While Waiting in My Car
Poem SafetyIf you are trying to narrate a poemOn your phoneWhile in the parking lot,And you hold your hand up,And wag your finger,And lift one...
The Trad-est Wife
Recently, my six children under the age of ten told me that they wanted Pop-Tarts. Because I’m a trad wife, I’ve raised my kids in...
Probability Calculator: Chances That Your Friend Bails Tonight
Forget everything that you learned in seventh-grade math class. Here’s how to accurately determine the actual probability of your friend showing up to those plans...