I Never Thought the Trolley Problem Would Happen to Me
Oh, shoot. The trolley problem is happening to me. The probability of dying in a plane crash is about one in thirteen million. The probability...
Author : The New Yorker
Podcasts by the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
© 2025 Condé Nast. All rights reserved. The New Yorker may earn a portion of sales from products that are purchased through our site as...
How I’ll Become Pope
Sure, I’m just an average cardinal from a country no one’s ever heard of, but I’ve been watching inspirational videos on YouTube and reading self-help...
Great Moments in the Papacy
The Political Scene Podcast Pope Francis’s Legacy and the Coming Conclave “The traditionalist side of the Catholic Church in the United States has tolerated Francis,...
This Bouquet of Branches Will Change Everything
This morning, I was a depressed, frumpy loser. But then, in a moment, everything changed. You see, I just purchased a forty-five-dollar bouquet of dried...
What To Do When Your Friend Unfollows You
© 2025 Condé Nast. All rights reserved. The New Yorker may earn a portion of sales from products that are purchased through our site as...
B.D.S.M. for the Middle-Aged
You want me to spank you, don’t you? Too bad, because instead I’m going to punish you with disappointed sighs. Now hold this remote in...
Military Decorations, Pete Hegseth-Style
© 2025 Condé Nast. All rights reserved. The New Yorker may earn a portion of sales from products that are purchased through our site as...
Updated U.S. Customs and Border Protection Questionnaire
Welcome to the United States of America. As part of our continuing efforts to insure public safety, protect national security, and suppress the free flow...
Thinking of You
ME: Hey, I got your note. Reaching out to let you know that although the earthquake created a sinkhole in which I now have to...