College Grad Escapes
Vicious Learning Cycle
Date Lectures Man
On Racist History
Of “Going Dutch”
Man Laughs Just
Right Amount at
Job Interview
Boyfriend Saving
First “I Love You”
For Emergency
Woman Insists
On Proposal Do-Over
Just Because He Forgot
Ring, Her Name
Groom Sees Omen
In Bride’s Grammy
Leaving Teeth
In His Beer
Honeymoon Ruined
By Too Much
“Lovey-Dovey” Stuff
Man’s Socks,
Underwear,
Favorite Shirt
Lost in Dryer
Married Man Still
Able to Drink at
Collegiate Level
New Father Who
Witnessed Miracle of Birth Not Tapping
That Again
Man Loses Job
Over Handful of
Benign Remarks
Santa Expands List to
Include Naughty,
Nice, and
Too Nice
Sloppy Eater Dog’s
New Best Friend
Trad Wives Give
Better Blow Jobs,
Experts Say
Second Baby
Redder Than First,
Dad Observes
From Chair
Sister-in-Law
Keeps Harping On
Toilet Incident
Man Cave Established
In Car in Driveway
Husband Furious Wife
Won’t Let Him Swap Out
Free-Sex-Pass Celebrity
Who Got Old
Honey-Do Jar
Bursts Into Flames
Man Did Not Drink
Too Often Much
Tooth Fairy
Just Forgot,
O.K.?
Son Saying “Dad”
With Less Conviction
These Days
Dad Abdicates Marriage,
Mom Vows Changes
Around Here
Divorced Man’s
Trusty Pick-Up Bar
Now a Chicken Place
Late-Night Cheese Snack
Not Cheese, E.R. Doctors
Determine
All Man’s Old
College Girlfriends
Are Lesbians
Now
Ex-Wife Dating
Probable Mobster,
Pedophile
Daughter Doesn’t
Wait Until Marriage
To Change Surname
Divorced Man
Shocked to Discover
Cunnilingus Mandatory
All of a Sudden
Man Fired Because
Boss’s Kid
Also a Retard
Man’s Life
Not Worth Living,
Goes On Anyway
Onion Rejects
Funny Man’s
10,000th Headline
Ex-Wife Finds
Man’s Death
Hilarious ♦
