I grew up pointing at things but my finger only went so far, and I always felt I could use something longer and more direct. That’s where sticks came in. Once I started using them, I realized that the possibilities were endless. Most people don’t notice that they’re using sticks all day long. Morning routine: brush with tooth stick. Want something to stir your coffee? Pop in a utensil stick. Need to clear the roads for your drive to work? You’ll be using shovel sticks. They say that Heaven is a place on Earth, and when you start to see the world through stick glasses—devices which, I’ll point out, also employ two sticks to stay on your head—you’ll realize that Stickworld is also a place on Earth.
How did you develop and hone your stick expertise?
Some people don’t realize this but sticks come from trees. Trees grow out of the earth organically, and growing your own appreciation of sticks and your expertise in their many uses is a process as natural as sticks themselves. Just grow, grow, grow, until a storm knocks you out or someone chops you down for firewood.
Did you attend a stick university? What, exactly, are your credentials?
There’s no official stick university that I know of, though I should point out that every existing university employs millions of sticks to make their buildings, not to mention the countless writing sticks (pencils) that are essential to the learning process itself. One could say that every university is, at its core, a stick university. I guess in that sense I went to Harvard.
What are your top ten favorite types of sticks?
Floating stick, stick with flowers, impossibly long stick carried by dog, stick with heart and initials carved in it, pointing stick, sand-writing stick, pretend-sword stick, poking-at-gross-things stick, large sitting stick, organic stick (health nuts love this one).
What are your bottom ten least favorite types of sticks?
N/A.
I notice that you dress somewhat like a stick (in brown, etc.). Is that intentional? Is that appropriative?
I can’t help it if my area of expertise starts to merge with my personal life—that’s part of the price one pays for having a passion. And, if someone accidentally mistook me for a stick, would I be flattered? Sure, I’m only human. But any visual similarities are strictly coincidental.
Did Big Stick pay you to produce this video?
I cannot speak on behalf of Big Stick, but if they wanted to continue to fund my productions I would be more than happy to discuss a partnership—as long as we also made space for little mom-and-pop sticks to pursue their dreams.
Is Fart Lady proud of you?
I cannot speak for Fart Lady, but I hope she is. And, if the volume of her output is any indication, I’d say it’s a resounding yes.
