Premium Back Massager
Practical, sleek, and top of the line, this back massager is perfect for at-home spa days. Plus, purchasing this thing is a lot easier than saying, “Sorry I insisted on learning to play the upright bass, even though we already owned a violin. And sorry you had to carry it around to all my concerts because I was too small to lift it.”
Turkish-Cotton Bath Towel
This stylish striped towel is a great way to say, “Sorry I stole your towel. Honestly, you weren’t asking for much when you said that you just wanted one single thing in the house that was yours. I shouldn’t have used it, and I definitely shouldn’t have gotten self-tanner all over it. My bad.”
Silk Sleep Mask
An elegant sleep mask will stand the test of time, unlike certain choices one makes as a teen. This gift says, “Sorry I’d kick you off the family desktop computer, insisting that I needed it to do homework, and sorry that the sound of me furiously typing and eating Doritos kept you up until midnight. To be honest, I wasn’t doing homework. I was writing One Direction fan fiction.”
Decorative Lawn Rabbit
Cuteness alert! This adorable wicker rabbit is sure to convey, “Sorry on behalf of Brian, that guy I dated in the tenth grade who wore sweatpants to Easter Mass, insisted on calling you ‘Vivvy,’ and angrily punted our original lawn rabbit into the side of the shed.”
Dyson Airwrap Hair-Styler
Your mom deserves the best when it comes to hair care. She also deserves an explanation for what happened before the homecoming dance. This gadget is an ideal way to say, “Sorry I made you re-straighten my hair three times, and then started sobbing when it didn’t look like the picture, and then claimed you were, ‘Forcing me to be ugly.’ ”
Stainless-Steel Ice-Cream Maker
Banana split, anyone? This gorgeous at-home ice-cream maker practically screams, “Sorry about that time I called you a bitch at Dairy Queen. Honestly, you didn’t do anything to incite it. I was just in a bad mood because I texted Brian ‘heyy,’ and he didn’t respond.”
Tropical-Scented Candle
A luxurious candle probably can’t undo years of terrorization brought on by massive hormonal swings, but it’s worth a try! This one says, “Sorry for bringing Brian to Meemaw’s eightieth-birthday luau, even after you told me he was banned from family gatherings. Also, sorry we stole those Mike’s Hard Lemonades and subsequently scandalized little cousin Timmy when he caught us making out behind the tiki bar.”
Ten-Thousand-Dollar Diamond Necklace
Money can’t buy happiness, but it can absolve some amount of guilt. This gorgeous diamond necklace is perhaps the only object exorbitant enough to say, “Sorry I totalled the family Camry when I crashed it into a fake rock outside Panda Express. And sorry I yelled, ‘I hate you!’ when you forbid me from driving for the rest of the year. You were right—playing ‘Thrift Shop’ by Macklemore at max volume certainly hindered my driving abilities. And I don’t hate you. I love you.” ♦
