WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Hoping to inject some ratings magic into an aging TV franchise, Donald J. Trump announced on Thursday that he would soon launch “Celebrity Coronavirus Briefing.”
Trump said that he was green-lighting the reboot because the current version of the show was “getting kind of old.”
“CNN and MSNBC started cutting away from the show, and that made me very unhappy,” he said. “I realized I had to jazz things up.”
The first episode of “Celebrity Coronavirus Briefing,” to air next Monday, will feature two Trump favorites, Gary Busey and Dennis Rodman.
“We’re going to be seeing a lot of Gary and Dennis and lot less of those boring charts,” he said. “Everybody I talk to hates the charts.”
Trump said that the addition of celebrities to the coronavirus briefings meant that some of the show’s current cast members would have to go.
“Does Mike Pence stay in the cast?” he said. “He’s not a lock. Tony and Deborah? Not sure. The only person who’s a definite at this point is the MyPillow guy. We’re going to be seeing a lot more of the MyPillow guy.”
