WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Declaring “no more government handouts,” millions of America’s children are demanding that all future salary payments to Senator Joe Manchin be tied to a work requirement.
Tracy Klugian, who is nine years old, said that Manchin’s current arrangement, in which he is paid for no work whatsoever, amounts to “an obscene ripoff of the American taxpayer.”
“Our message to Senator Manchin is clear,” she said. “Your years of feeding at the socialist trough are over.”
But Jake Pearlgon, who is eleven, believes that a work requirement for Manchin might be the wrong approach. “Actually, it would be better if he worked less,” he said.