This summer, like every other, the migrating birds are back in town to sing, socialize, and flirt. May we live vicariously through them as we isolate in our homes!
To that end, I present to you the most aspirational and enviable of our annual feathered visitors.
Scarlet Tanager
The male scarlet tanager is a sight to behold, with his vibrant and unmistakable plumage. His confidence is unparalleled! When this is all over, you should definitely wear that enormous prairie dress you impulse-bought after watching “Little Women.” You’ll rock it.
American Goldfinch
A strict vegetarian, the goldfinch has a smaller carbon footprint than his meat-loving peers. (Though he accidentally ate a worm once while drunk on a fermented apple—and kind of liked it.)
Cerulean Warbler
A famous author wrote a book about her once. Must be nice.
Green Heron
This bird recently got back from Tulum, which is where you were supposed to be last month for your friend’s wedding. You had already bought a new swimsuit.
American Woodcock
The woodcock is an incredibly silly-looking bird, but he doesn’t give a hoot what you think—he just dances. So who cares! Cut your own bangs, then dance away the shame. It’s what everyone on TikTok is doing.
