Fly to see your favorite YouTube star on tour.
Meat-full Mondays.
Order some shirts from Forever 21; if you don’t like a few, toss ‘em in six months.
Uber four blocks (it’s raining a little).
Put each vegetable in a separate plastic bag at the grocery store.
Exclusively K-cups.
Floss with single-use flossers (maybe one flosser per tooth, for hygiene?).
Drink only Fiji water (honestly tastes so different).
Water your lawn (maybe with Fiji—honestly grows so different).
Raise a herd of cows for fun.
Buy stock in big oil (still blue-chip!).
Burn all the leftover plastic bags you don’t know what else to do with.
Egg a public bus (ew, buses).
Purchase face-wash micro beads in bulk and pour them into your local river.
Set fire to a national park (someone already nabbed the Amazon!).
Help the glaciers along by melting them with a hair dryer.
Post a picture of a paper straw on Instagram and relax in some A.C. (you did your part!).
