About Us:
Hi, guys! Welcome to our travel and murder blog. You might be wondering how two millennials plucked up the courage to jump off that corporate hamster wheel, cash in our savings, and buy a murder van. Believe me, it wasn’t an easy decision.
But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let me tell you a little more about me and my boyfriend, Kevin. I was a pretty typical twentysomething when we met, two years ago. You might say that I was somewhat impressionable, even a little vulnerable. I didn’t have the greatest childhood. Anyway, that all changed when I met Kev. Sure, some of my girlfriends didn’t get the best vibes from him, but Kevin showed me that they were never my true friends and that I was better off without them. Since then, it’s basically been us against the world!
Kevin has a spotty record (totally unfair, BTW), and has had a bunch of different jobs—but advertising’s a revolving door, you know? Meanwhile, I was working at a startup. It was a great job with amazing benefits, but, in meetings, I’d daydream about hitting the road and Instagramming all of the natural beauty this country has to offer. Then I’d think about all the times Kevin’s told me that society is conspiring against us and that we only have each other and that we have to punish mankind for its sins. As you can tell, Kevin doesn’t do anything halfway!
Finally, with enough money saved up, we decided to take the plunge and embrace that #MurderVanLife! We sold everything we could, bought a van, and retrofitted it as a fully functional tiny murder house on wheels. It even has a reading nook—so cozy. Follow our blog to hear all about our adventures and our murders.
Denver, Colorado
We had a blast wandering the city, trying a bunch of great local microbrews, and getting lost in the Tattered Cover bookstore. I wanted to squeeze in a quick hike up Mt. Falcon, but Kevin was pretty anxious to start murdering. Eventually, we found this guy named James who fit the bill perfectly! After we murdered him, we cleaned up the van and got out of town on the quicker side, just in case. Kevin says we’ll be able to work at a more relaxed pace once we’re out in nature.
Moab, Utah
Nothing could have prepared me for the beauty of Arches National Park, not even the thousands of photos I looked at while we were driving through the Rockies. We fuelled up with a hearty breakfast prepared by yours truly on the little hot plate in our van. While we were hiking, we met this nice student named Elle and dumped her on our way out of town. If any of you are interested in embracing #MurderVanLife yourselves, I can’t recommend Utah enough! There are miles of open desert right off Route 70.
Jackson, Wyoming
Who’s got four thumbs and paddled the Snake River? THESE GUYS! Who’s got no thumbs and is currently drifting toward the Pacific? Our rafting guide, Matthew!
Banff, Alberta
I’m telling you, a bright blue glacial lake nestled among mountains is unlike anything you’ve ever imagined. This really nice couple named David and Marie helped us make our first-ever bear bag to keep our food away from hungry wildlife. We’re hoping those bears find David and Marie before the Mounties do!
Seattle, Washington
Real talk, guys. Living together in close quarters can be tough. I know blogs like this one sometimes make #MurderVanLife seem idyllic, but, if I’m being honest, there are challenges. Sometimes I’ll want to chat, but Kevin just wants to stare at all our victims’ drivers’ licenses for hours. Lately, he’s been really mad because he found out that I’ve been posting about each of our stops. He doesn’t always get how much work it takes to parlay travel and murder into a personal brand. He thinks the Feds are closing in. There’s no going back to Canada, so we’re going to try to gun it to Mexico. Kevin says if we go down, it’ll be in a blaze of glory. I’ve always admired how passionate, mindful, and present in the moment he is.
