Fox News is dedicated to providing our viewers with a wide array of programming that offers a fair and balanced view of American life. And we at the network recently noticed a significant lack of late-night hosts supporting President Trump’s vision for making America great again. We can’t let this anti-American censorship of conservative comedic voices go unanswered. So we are pleased to announce that, beginning this fall, Fox News will be premièring its own late-night program: “The Gaetz and Gohmert Comedy Hour.”
Monday through Friday, starting at 11 P.M., we’ll follow the antics of America’s favorite congressional cut-ups, Representative Matt Gaetz, of Florida, and Representative Louie Gohmert, of Texas. If you loved some of their classic routines—such as storming into a classified briefing, wearing a gas mask to mock believers in the COVID-19 pandemic, or banging on the dais in order to drown out a witness’s testimony—then we at Fox are confident that you are going to love this hour-long, vaudevillian, comedic variety show that follows their escapades around the halls of Congress. As a bonus, each episode will end with a rousing rendition of “God Bless America,” after which Representative Gohmert will share some of his favorite recipes for asparagus.
In addition to Gaetz and Gohmert, we’re pleased to announce a wide-ranging crew of crazy side characters, to help or hinder Matt and Louie on their wacky adventures. This supporting cast will feature the coach (Jim Jordan), the corrupt and mean old boss (Nancy Pelosi), and the boss’s bumbling sidekicks, Pencilneck and Fat Jerry, dastardly villains always trying to take over America. Watch also as Gaetz tries to avoid the temptations of the evil femme fatale, A.O.C.
We already have an exciting lineup of some of your favorite stars of the MAGA universe to appear as guests on the show, including Donald Trump, Jr., and American hero Eddie Gallagher. There will be standup from some of your favorite comics as well, such as Steven Crowder and that guy who got fired from “S.N.L.” by the cancel-culture left. Plus, the house band is led by none other than the Motor City Madman himself, Ted Nugent, who will be backed by the No-Mask Players.
While Fox Studios is unfortunately forced to abide by the unconstitutional social-distancing and shutdown laws enacted by communist Governor Andrew Cuomo, Representative Gaetz told us he has a studio in Florida that we can use for free, with a wide assortment of props to help keep the laughs coming.
So tune in weeknights at eleven for “The Gaetz and Gohmert Comedy Hour,” starting with our première episode, in which Gaetz shows up to work wearing blackface and Gohmert seeks his assistance in trying to get those pesky Democrats outlawed. And stay tuned for a special, legally mandated ten-hour appearance by everyone’s favorite criminal, Crooked Hillary. Laughs are guaranteed!
