“Now is a great time to invest in water.” —Peter Montgomery III, hedge-fund manager
“What are we getting tested on?” —Tyson Higgs, 27, football player at Ohio State University
“O.K., I think this has gotten out of hand.” —Cathy Barkstrom, white suburban mother of three biracial children
“I can’t wait to be stimulated by the government again.” —Dan Doons, record holder for most Tinder matches
“I’ve seen worse.” —Wallace Jeffreys, 73, would have fought in Vietnam if not for asthma
“We’re going to the Cape, indefinitely.” —the DuBois family, of Park Avenue
“I hope this audit finds you well.” —Max Smith, I.R.S. official
“Racism can’t be solved with a closed economy.” —Ralph Carr, Fortune 500 C.E.O.
“Do you believe in God? Use promo code: IMMUNE for ten per cent off holy water at pastorkennethheals.com.” —Pastor Kenneth, on Twitter
“So, it will likely end, but it won’t ostensibly end when such is the case.” —Dr. Alan Ross, immunologist at Johns Hopkins Medical Center
“Can we FaceTime instead?” —Chloe Smith, Gen Z-er
“Hi, friends, I know this is a tough time, so I’m doing my part to help by selling homemade, ethically sourced masks for twenty-five dollars each. D.M. for details. XOXO. Stay safe.” —Jenna Crawford, Bushwick-based freelancer with supportive parents
“I don’t read the media.” —Jeff Warberger, 52, proud American
“Do you guys have margaritas to go?” —Aidan Lass, sports fan
“It’s been an eye-opener.” —Aaron Turnbull, moved back home after college
“It would be socially irresponsible to have sex at this time.” —mutual decision by Katherine and Ronald Erikson
“How about we follow the C.D.C. guidelines?” —Trevor Kates, tenth grader who went viral
“This sucks. A lot.” —Landlords Union
“I’m going on a jog.” —Ronald Erikson
“This is not a joke.” —DeAngelo Barbes, essential worker
“Do you sell Lysol?” —the State of Georgia
