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April 29, 2024
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Leaked Plotlines from the “Sex and the City” Reunion

Stanford waking up from a bad dream.

“Stan Fiction”

It is revealed that the two movies are not canon but, rather, some dreams that Stanford had.


Samantha wearing a red baseball cap arm around a dowdy man.

“The ‘Fash’ in Fashion”

No one hangs out with Samantha anymore, because she fell down a rabbit hole of right-wing YouTube videos and has been completely red-pilled.


Miranda angry because Carrie is crushing on Governor Cuomo.

“She Govs Me, She Govs Me Not”

Miranda gets pissed after Carrie self-identifies as a Cuomosexual.


Carrie smoking from a vape and looking at her overdue bills.

“Finding the Click”

Carrie is now a freelancer, and, although she no longer makes four dollars a word, big Web sites keep offering her “very exciting” gigs that don’t quite have the budget to pay her but that will get her a ton of engagement.


Charlotte walks in on Harry with roleplaying as a baby with a pacifier in his mouth.

“Who Loves You, Baby?”

Charlotte finds Harry’s secret alt-Instagram, and it’s full of selfies of him in diapers.


Carrie flipping off and cursing at her computer because of someone on Twitter.

“Trick or Tweet”

Carrie posts a bad tweet (maybe about how the struggle between marrieds and singles is like the Troubles?) and gets in a protracted argument with someone with twelve followers and the handle @VirginWoolf. When they meet in person, they end up sleeping together.


Aiden holding a hammer and looking at the birdhouse he just built.

“Work, Bitch”

Aidan builds a house or something.


Samantha takes a selfie with Timothe Chalamet

“Role Play”

Smith frets about aging after he’s cast in a movie as Timothée Chalamet’s dad.


Mr. Big shirtless wearing a nameplate necklace.

“The Last One This Time for Real O.K. We Don’t Even Have a Pun”

Mr. Big’s last name is revealed—it is also John.

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