What sets John Pierpont Morgan College apart? Here, we value a well-rounded liberal-arts education—in the humanities, social sciences, and natural sciences. John Pierpont Morgan is devoted to student innovation across disciplines, freeing the mind to explore its full potential, creating a marketplace of ideas so great that they can be bought and sold for millions of dollars.
Here are just a few of our most popular courses:
ANTHROPOLOGY 3, Ghost in the Machine: The Roots of A.I.
What is intelligence? Who is the man behind the machine? Who ought to be tasked with putting the “I” in “A.I.”? We will learn that the answer is clear: it should be the graduates of John Pierpont Morgan College, as they continue to steer the machine’s algorithm toward racism and white feminism. Prerequisites for this course include ETHICS 73, Is There Really Such a Thing as Evil?
BIOLOGY 2, Intro to Eugenics
Some say that manners maketh man, but what maketh manners? Genes. So what if man could maketh genes? In this course, we will learn how to genetically engineer certain traits (e.g., taller men) while debating logical quandaries such as bringing flat-chested women into the world.
GENDER STUDIES 14, Famous Women in Tech
After the Industrial Revolution, women took to the workplace. Through an exploration of famous women entrepreneurs, ranging from Sheryl Sandberg to Elizabeth Holmes, we will come to understand the hurdles and overcompensations women in tech must face and embrace to find success. Guest speakers include Jeff Bezos’s ex-wife, Sandberg’s personal chef, and Holmes’s parole officer.
PHILOSOPHY 450, The Philosophy of Spending Your Limitless Capital
If a million dollars falls out of your pocket but no one sees it fall, is the money really lost? In this course, we will do a deep dive into the rationality and virtues of excessive spending. For instance: Is it reasonable to buy your sixteen-year-old a Tesla to drive herself to school?
PSYCHOLOGY 25, Is Narcissism Bad?
Is narcissism bad, or is it actually just a useful tool for determining priorities? To answer this question, students will conduct a psych study on themselves and write a term paper outlining their conclusions. At the end of the course, the professor (this year, it’s the college’s president!) will share his own research with the class in a five-hour presentation.
THEATRE AND PERFORMANCE STUDIES 12Q, Shakespeare’s Monarchs
Macbeth, King Lear, Othello, and Hamlet were all ambitious and powerful men. But at what cost? Their own lives. Through a close watch of only the most famous movie versions of each play (e.g., Roman Polanski’s “Macbeth”), we will learn from these kings’ mistakes and become masters of channelling our own ambitions without getting caught or stabby.
At the core of a liberal-arts education, it is not what one studies but the results of that study—the ability to think independently within the parameters of what one’s professors have already said, and to communicate effectively via PowerPoint. These abilities are the foundation of all professions, or at least the ones worth having, which is why our graduates have a superb track record of job placement at a range of top companies, from Morgan Stanley to Goldman Sachs.
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Join us at John Pierpont Morgan College, where a student’s half-baked idea has the potential to become a million-dollar endowment opportunity. As we say at John Pierpont Morgan, “In Foro Confidimus—In the Market We Trust!”
