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May 6, 2024
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Humorous

How to Train for Your First Flight in Two Years

Make plans with a friend six months in advance. As you sit in the restaurant waiting to order, have her delay the plans by an hour, then eleven hours, before postponing them indefinitely.

Person at a table with a glass of wine.

Empty the contents of your purse and hold them as you also remove your shoes. In a standing position, put your shoes back on while still holding all your loose stuff. 

Person carrying the contents of their pocketbook.

Pay your receptionist fifty dollars so that you can be allowed to bring your briefcase to work.

Person giving someone 50.

See how long you can surround yourself with the smells of food and not succumb to spending thirteen dollars on a small bag of pretzels.

Person standing by a table of food.

Watch six nonconsecutive episodes of a sitcom that you only sort of liked fifteen years ago.

Person lying down and holding up an iPad.

Sit in a toddler chair. Ask a total stranger to sit on your lap, and a different stranger to kick the back of your chair at sporadic intervals for the next few hours.

Person sitting in a toddler chair.

Lock yourself in a small crate during an earthquake. Attempt to pee.

A wooden crate.

Attach your purse to a moving ceiling fan covered in other purses that look exactly like yours. Try to grab the correct purse.

A ceiling fan with pocketbooks on it.

More Humor

Click Here to Visit Orignal Source of Article https://www.newyorker.com/humor/daily-shouts/how-to-train-for-your-first-flight-in-two-years

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