It would be the last time the band ever performed. That night, they boarded a plane for their next gig. On the plane, they were told that their contract had been cancelled.
Kate and Bob eventually got divorced, but remained friends—bitter, bitter friends.
Peter Piper died a pauper.
At Attila’s funeral, one of the top Hun generals remarked, “Without Attila, we would have been nothing more than a bunch of savage barbarians.”
After the huge asteroid missed Earth, everyone was happy, except for Clem Drexel, who lost a bet.
After Angelo Carcinelli was executed, it was determined that not only was he innocent; he was actually the electric-chair repairman.
Doc Rogen was laughed out of town, then laughed back into town.
Following the mutiny, a naval board of inquiry was convened, to determine whether the captain had been at fault. The board chairman was an arrogant, cruel man, making the others work long hours without breaks, and referred to them as “bloody swine.” He even flogged one board member.
The chairman was then overtaken and set adrift in a rowboat, to the taunts and jeers of the other board members.
After Ted Longmire failed to make the transition from drama to comedy, he threw himself in front of a steamroller.
Old Pete never did find the Lost Dutchman Mine, but he did find his burro, which had been hiding from him.
After retiring from boxing, Tim O’Shannon opened a paper mill, where he was accidentally beaten to a pulp.
Christopher Columbus died without ever realizing that he had discovered the New World, or that he was Italian.
A year later, Jeremy Larkin was hit on the head by another coconut, but this one didn’t change him as much as the first coconut.
After their defeat by the mutants, the skeleton army fell apart.
Following Abraham Lincoln’s death, two tickets were found in his pockets: one for the ship Titanic and another for the airship Hindenburg.
Professor Higginbotham grew rich from his invention, the moving wall of spikes. But he was killed when he tripped and fell on a porcupine.
When the Pope and the antipope finally met, it caused a huge explosion.
In addition to her other awards, Marie Curie won the top Halloween prize for her glowing skeleton costume.
After his death, the Greek philosopher who invented irony was mistakenly credited with inventing slapstick.
Despite the harsh reviews, “The Man with the Secret Weapon Who Also Had a Spare Secret Weapon” became a box-office hit.
Within fifty years of their signing, fifty-four of the fifty-six signers of the Declaration of Independence were dead, fulfilling what is known as the Curse of the Declaration.
After the war, mustard gas was banned, and for two years so was mustard.
Despite the sermons and the rehabilitation course, the pirates never lost their desire for treasure.
Although the Wolf Man was killed, scientists say that nearly three in five humans carry the werewolf gene.
The skunks eventually returned . . . and they were mad. ♦
