Mobile sports betting is now legal in the Big Apple, making New York one of only thirteen states where you can conveniently open your phone and risk your grocery money.
If you’re in a state that hasn’t legalized mobile sports betting, or if you don’t enjoy betting on sports, congratulations on not having to fight the temptation! You must be anxiety-free, since, instead of putting twenty bucks on the Brooklyn Nets, you put it toward therapy.
For those seeking avenues outside of sports to scratch that gambling itch, here are some life scenarios you can place wagers on throughout 2022.
Wedding Invitations You’ll Receive (Over/Under: 0.5)
Over
Let’s hope that a couple who put their wedding plans on hold because of the pandemic haven’t broken up and still want you to share their special, rescheduled moment with them.
Shows You’ll Quit Watching After the First Episode (Over/Under: 9)
Under
You’ll finish even more shows this year. Netflix raised the price of the membership again, and the friend who’s letting you use his account would be ashamed if you didn’t watch every single episode of every single limited series.
Diet Cheat Days (Over/Under: 12)
Under
You can guarantee that it stays under by never starting a diet.
Times You’ll Admit That You Were Wrong (Over/Under: 8)
Under
Your stubborn and petty ways will persist. Your family and friends will be ashamed that you haven’t grown, but will forgive you when they win big.
Mornings You’ll Wake Up with a Hangover (Over/Under: 17.5)
Under
You’re washed up, sure, but that’s no excuse not to hydrate while you’re out drinking like the next twenty-four hours depend on it!
Text Messages You’ll Send That Will Get Left on Read (Over/Under: 6.5)
Over
Don’t take it personally; the game is the game.
Times You’ll Hold the Door Open for Somebody and They Won’t Say Thank You (Over/Under: 14.5)
Under
If you’re lucky, you’ll be walking through more automatic doors this year.
Days You’ll Hit the Snooze Button on Your Alarm (Over/Under: 150)
Over
365, 25/8.
Times You’ll Click “Forgot My Password” (Over/Under: 9)
Over
Even worse, after you click “Forgot My Password,” the Web site will tell you “Username Does Not Exist.”
New COVID Variants (Over/Under: 5)
Under
No science or research to back up this prediction. Purely praying that this guess is miraculously right.
Spam Calls (Over/Under: 4,000)
Over
Already at three thousand and ninety-seven.
