13.6 C
New York
May 3, 2024
Worship Media
Humorous

Symptoms of the New Variant May Include

  • Dry cough

  • Wet cough

  • The perfect cough—not too dry, not too wet

  • No cough

  • Any symptoms you typically have when you are dehydrated, are on your period, didn’t get a perfect night’s sleep, or are more than thirty years old

  • Sore throat

  • Throat that is not sore, just a little disappointed

  • Scratchy throat, but the kind that’s sexy

  • Hunger and/or loss of appetite

  • Watery eyes and you haven’t recently listened to the original Broadway-cast recording of “Sunday in the Park with George”

  • Clear eyes, coupled with a full heart and inability to lose

  • Feeling generally pretty good!

  • Tiredness (due to thinking about COVID-19)

  • Anxiety (about catching COVID-19)

  • Exhaustion (from panicking about COVID-19)

  • Foot asleep

  • When you rub your eyes and it just makes them feel scratchier, but you simply cannot stop rubbing

  • Inflamed ego

  • The feeling that your body just misses her touch—that’s all

  • Sweating the small stuff

  • Sweaty palms, weak knees, heavy arms, nervous—but on the surface calm and ready

  • Instagram ads are all for COVID-19

  • Insomnia

  • “Insomnia” (2002, Christopher Nolan)

  • The feeling that you’ve just gotta dance!

  • Sneezing and no one nearby saying “bless you”

  • Excessive and/or painful winking

  • Child recently wrote “COVID-19” on the mirror backward

  • Death

  • Other flu-like symptoms

  • Click Here to Visit Orignal Source of Article https://www.newyorker.com/humor/daily-shouts/symptoms-of-the-new-variant-may-include

    Related posts

    Daily Cartoon: Thursday, January 2nd

    The New Yorker

    Understanding Your Dog’s Body Language

    The New Yorker

    Trump Did Not Read Taliban Brief Because He Was Busy Not Reading Coronavirus Brief

    The New Yorker

    This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Accept Read More

    Privacy & Cookies Policy