“28 Days Later”
Original: Activists ignore the pleas of scientists and accidentally release a deadly virus, creating a horde of rage-filled zombies.
Update: A horde of rage-filled zombies ignores the pleas of scientists trying to stop a deadly virus.
“Independence Day”
Original: Humans band together to narrowly defeat hostile space aliens.
Update: Humans continue to fight one another up to the moment that they are annihilated by hostile space aliens.
“2012”
Original: After scientists warn of unprecedented dangers to Earth, world leaders spring into action to save a portion of the human race.
Update: After scientists warn of unprecedented dangers to Earth, world leaders spring into action to invest in disaster-related stocks, and escape to space with their wealth as the human race dies off.
“The Matrix”
Original: A computer programmer living in a simulated reality uses his hacking skills to uncover the truth and joins a rebellion against oppressive machines.
Update: A computer programmer living in a dystopian reality uses his hacking skills to steal nudes from celebrities and joins a rebellion to complain about oppressive women who won’t reply to his D.M.s.
“I Am Legend”
Original: When a plague kills most people on Earth and turns the survivors into monsters, one man turns to his unique DNA to find a cure and save the human race.
Update: The human race falls when too many people refuse the cure after “doing the research,” and opt instead for a multilevel-marketing scheme selling medications intended for livestock. The plague wins!
“The Road”
Original: A horrifyingly bleak and depressing story of a man and his son struggling to survive in a post-apocalyptic wasteland.
Update: Same story, but much more bleak and depressing.
“WALL-E”
Original: A robot tasked with cleaning a trashed and abandoned Earth goes on a space journey that inspires humanity to save itself.
Update: Humanity leans into being trash and stays the course, sending the meddling robot back to Earth by itself.
“Children of Men”
Original: Facing the extinction of humanity from war, famine, and infertility, a bureaucrat sacrifices himself to protect a woman.
Update: Facing extinction, a bureaucrat sacrifices women to protect his job.
“Dr. Strangelove”
Original: A series of fail-safe measures fail, triggering a nuclear cataclysm that world leaders and the military can do nothing to stop.
Update: No changes, honestly.
